Something possessed me. 

I remember trying to walk but I couldn’t so I started crawling and I’d watch my door move and yell at whatever to get out of my head.

I could feel it controlling my body and I had to watch all the actions I did without any say.

Luckily I stopped it for its true intentions and I remember having it go away at times. 

It made me walk to places I didn’t want to. It made things move around me. I could feel it trying to force me to hurt those around me. But like I’ve said, I stopped it before I could let it take full control.

Haha, creepy.

I fucking miss you so fucking much. You were everything to me. I could trust you with anything. You were fucking every. thing. We were inseparable. We were perfect. And knowing you don’t even care and have moved on to better people, breaks my fucking heart in so many pieces. God I fucking hate thinking about you so much. I miss you so much words can’t explain it. I can’t breathe from crying right now. I’m so pathetic. I miss you oh my fucking god this hurts so bad.

I love you, Marisa. I always will. Like I promised.

I smoked with Derek. 

While both high, he told me “the truth.”

We somehow got into the topic with his feelings towards her.

He said he wasn’t completely over her while he was dating me.

But he is now.

Yet, this broke my heart.

And I kept calling him a liar, heart breaker, a piece of shit, less than that- but nothing.

I woke up thinking it was true.

So fucking scary.

my goal as of now

i’ll never be pretty enough and i hate myself for it every day

i can never be good enough for you and it breaks my heart more and more

i can’t stand this

these feelings

what am i doing here

why am i trying

i know i wont end up with you because one day youll realize im not enough

i will